Post by Agano on Jan 25, 2008 20:18:13 GMT -5
Note: It seems I am on a dark story rut. That being said I'll warn you that this story doesn't have a happy ending. It's a short story I wrote for a school contest a while back. And I mean a long while back. One of the judges said it was the most disturbing thing she had ever seen a 5th grader write. yay me! lol
Fate is a lie. I've come to realize that now. There is no such thing as destiny. And as for freewill? Ha. That boat sank before it was even launched. Don't get me wrong, maybe, just maybe, at one time those things existed. Maybe someone decided how their lives turned out. Maybe someone made the choice that rippled across time to now. Maybe that person couldn't help it. Maybe it was their fate.
The future for me, despite the apparent absence of fate, is quite clear. The next few hours will hold for me the same as it held for millions, no, billions of other people across the globe.
They say that the “baby boomer” time in the mid 1900s was from the war. Horrible circumstances lead us civilized people back to our primitive roots: the need to leave a legacy. They did it then with children. Unfortunately immunity is recessive, so children now is out of the question. I am forced to resign myself to this, hoping that someday, after humanity has been rebuilt, if humanity ever has that chance, my legacy will live on.
I won't lie to you though. When I found out, I thought about simply buying a gun, and ending this cleanly. In fact, I did buy a gun, and I may do it right after I finish this. It's that or the alternative: let things run their course. Let the sickness pan out. No thank you, I'll take the quick out by a long shot. Maybe it's just because I'm a coward. Have been all my life.
It's funny to think about, my life and all. All the things I could have done better. Up until the outbreak I had always regretted not putting enough time into my studies. Maybe I could have gone to a good college. Ivy league, even, instead of that community college I dropped out of. Ironic to think that now I wish I had spent more time out of the books. Maybe I could have seen Europe. A lot of maybes.
I suppose when it comes down to it, that's all memories are. A lot of maybes. A lot of things that could have gone differently. My grandfather had a saying, “It's easy to regret what has happened. It's harder to regret what may happen.” I guess that was his way of telling us to work for a good future. Couldn't have been more off, grandpa.
I wonder, for those who read this now, what exactly they say about what happened here. I can tell you right now. Evolution. We saw it with the dinosaurs, we're seeing it now. Nature's been around much longer than we have, and it has tricks up its sleeves that we can't even imagine.
I once took an ecosystem class. The teacher spent most of the time telling us about how bad global warming and pollution was, and very little covering the actual topics of the class. I read the textbook myself. To put it simply, when a species gets too large, nature throws out a hand to set it back. Famine, war, plague. Plague. Now that's nature's trump card. Famine can be adverted with planning, war, with logical leaders. Plague, well, there's no stopping plague, now is there? Either you are immune or you aren't. Simple, efficient. Amazing.
The first signs of the sickness started April 19. The first victim coughed up blood three days later. The first death followed within twenty four hours. It works fast. Nature at its best.
Gas masks and haz-mat suits were sold out within a week, and their prices skyrocketed. I can't believe the nerve of some people, still charging people for objects that could save the buyer's life. Greed like that, well, I suppose the plague was a natural consequence. Unfortunately, the suits and masks didn't help. The virus was absorbed through the skin. And it was airborne.
Supposedly, the final stages of the virus are extremely painful. But as I said, I'm a coward. I don't want to find out if that's right or not. I've been up coughing blood all day. I suppose there is no more putting this off.
As I write this, it is October 20. It is a Sunday, the day of God himself. Over ninety percent of the world is dead. And I'm about to put a bullet in my own head. Fate sucks.
Fate is a lie. I've come to realize that now. There is no such thing as destiny. And as for freewill? Ha. That boat sank before it was even launched. Don't get me wrong, maybe, just maybe, at one time those things existed. Maybe someone decided how their lives turned out. Maybe someone made the choice that rippled across time to now. Maybe that person couldn't help it. Maybe it was their fate.
The future for me, despite the apparent absence of fate, is quite clear. The next few hours will hold for me the same as it held for millions, no, billions of other people across the globe.
They say that the “baby boomer” time in the mid 1900s was from the war. Horrible circumstances lead us civilized people back to our primitive roots: the need to leave a legacy. They did it then with children. Unfortunately immunity is recessive, so children now is out of the question. I am forced to resign myself to this, hoping that someday, after humanity has been rebuilt, if humanity ever has that chance, my legacy will live on.
I won't lie to you though. When I found out, I thought about simply buying a gun, and ending this cleanly. In fact, I did buy a gun, and I may do it right after I finish this. It's that or the alternative: let things run their course. Let the sickness pan out. No thank you, I'll take the quick out by a long shot. Maybe it's just because I'm a coward. Have been all my life.
It's funny to think about, my life and all. All the things I could have done better. Up until the outbreak I had always regretted not putting enough time into my studies. Maybe I could have gone to a good college. Ivy league, even, instead of that community college I dropped out of. Ironic to think that now I wish I had spent more time out of the books. Maybe I could have seen Europe. A lot of maybes.
I suppose when it comes down to it, that's all memories are. A lot of maybes. A lot of things that could have gone differently. My grandfather had a saying, “It's easy to regret what has happened. It's harder to regret what may happen.” I guess that was his way of telling us to work for a good future. Couldn't have been more off, grandpa.
I wonder, for those who read this now, what exactly they say about what happened here. I can tell you right now. Evolution. We saw it with the dinosaurs, we're seeing it now. Nature's been around much longer than we have, and it has tricks up its sleeves that we can't even imagine.
I once took an ecosystem class. The teacher spent most of the time telling us about how bad global warming and pollution was, and very little covering the actual topics of the class. I read the textbook myself. To put it simply, when a species gets too large, nature throws out a hand to set it back. Famine, war, plague. Plague. Now that's nature's trump card. Famine can be adverted with planning, war, with logical leaders. Plague, well, there's no stopping plague, now is there? Either you are immune or you aren't. Simple, efficient. Amazing.
The first signs of the sickness started April 19. The first victim coughed up blood three days later. The first death followed within twenty four hours. It works fast. Nature at its best.
Gas masks and haz-mat suits were sold out within a week, and their prices skyrocketed. I can't believe the nerve of some people, still charging people for objects that could save the buyer's life. Greed like that, well, I suppose the plague was a natural consequence. Unfortunately, the suits and masks didn't help. The virus was absorbed through the skin. And it was airborne.
Supposedly, the final stages of the virus are extremely painful. But as I said, I'm a coward. I don't want to find out if that's right or not. I've been up coughing blood all day. I suppose there is no more putting this off.
As I write this, it is October 20. It is a Sunday, the day of God himself. Over ninety percent of the world is dead. And I'm about to put a bullet in my own head. Fate sucks.