Post by faithdamore on Jan 20, 2008 1:37:30 GMT -5
This is the prologue to my novel, but I'm not sure about it, I think I might scrap it. Anyway, tell me what you think. There is a bit of violence and gore, but I tried to keep it to a minimum, so sorry if it's too much for you.
Prologue
A sudden movement made the old man start. He turned around to confront the intruder. He expected a burglar maybe, but what he saw shocked him. It was hideous, draped in a blood red cloak, its black face dripping with thick slime and its fangs gleaming in the light of the full moon that poured through the open window. The intruder drew a shining, silver, blood-crusted sword. The old man hesitated, stepping rapidly away from the unwelcome visitor.
“What do you want? What is your business here?” He asked in a fearful tone. The intruder spoke in a loud, raspy voice,
“Where is she?” He demanded, “Answer me old man! Answer me or face the consequences!” The sword edged slowly closer to the man's throat as he cowered beneath the dark figure. Trembling, the old man made a feeble attempt to look confused.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, please, get out of my house and leave me alone,” he shook violently. How did he know about her? The blade hovered only millimetres from the man’s throat. The intruders face contorted hideously.
“I have information that would put you behind bars in seconds; your granddaughter would be hunted by the fiercest warriors in the land. And it would be all because of you. Think of the hatred you will brew in her if you do not cooperate with me. The longer you wait, the slower and more painful death she- and you will have,”
The old man noticed a medallion hanging around the ‘things’ throat. Rapidly, he reached out for it, yanking it off the creature’s neck; strangely enough, the intruder did not seem to care. This might be a useful clue- if Faith found him, then he would have this tip-off for her, she would be able to figure out who- and what- was after her. After all, he was her grandfather and it was his duty to protect her.
Strengthened by fear, he painfully swept into motion. He drew a diamond crusted sword from its sheath on the wall. It was heavier than it looked but he supported its weight. The swords clashed. The two rivals fought with even strength until the old man’s energy finally flagged and he collapsed on the floor in an awkward heap. Without hesitating, the intruder made one final blow. It hit the old man’s chest and the sword buried itself deeper and deeper into his victims withered flesh, twisting and turning as it went. The old man screamed in anguish and writhed his contorted, crimson body in time with the excruciating pain.
“You have sealed her fate old man, caused her to suffer! Think of that in your final moments!” Spat the assassin in the dying man’s face. Coughing and spluttering on his last breath of air, the man’s hand closed around the medallion. “Be safe my angel, I am sorry I let you down…” these were the man’s last thoughts before he let the darkness take him to a place from where he could never escape.
Prologue
A sudden movement made the old man start. He turned around to confront the intruder. He expected a burglar maybe, but what he saw shocked him. It was hideous, draped in a blood red cloak, its black face dripping with thick slime and its fangs gleaming in the light of the full moon that poured through the open window. The intruder drew a shining, silver, blood-crusted sword. The old man hesitated, stepping rapidly away from the unwelcome visitor.
“What do you want? What is your business here?” He asked in a fearful tone. The intruder spoke in a loud, raspy voice,
“Where is she?” He demanded, “Answer me old man! Answer me or face the consequences!” The sword edged slowly closer to the man's throat as he cowered beneath the dark figure. Trembling, the old man made a feeble attempt to look confused.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, please, get out of my house and leave me alone,” he shook violently. How did he know about her? The blade hovered only millimetres from the man’s throat. The intruders face contorted hideously.
“I have information that would put you behind bars in seconds; your granddaughter would be hunted by the fiercest warriors in the land. And it would be all because of you. Think of the hatred you will brew in her if you do not cooperate with me. The longer you wait, the slower and more painful death she- and you will have,”
The old man noticed a medallion hanging around the ‘things’ throat. Rapidly, he reached out for it, yanking it off the creature’s neck; strangely enough, the intruder did not seem to care. This might be a useful clue- if Faith found him, then he would have this tip-off for her, she would be able to figure out who- and what- was after her. After all, he was her grandfather and it was his duty to protect her.
Strengthened by fear, he painfully swept into motion. He drew a diamond crusted sword from its sheath on the wall. It was heavier than it looked but he supported its weight. The swords clashed. The two rivals fought with even strength until the old man’s energy finally flagged and he collapsed on the floor in an awkward heap. Without hesitating, the intruder made one final blow. It hit the old man’s chest and the sword buried itself deeper and deeper into his victims withered flesh, twisting and turning as it went. The old man screamed in anguish and writhed his contorted, crimson body in time with the excruciating pain.
“You have sealed her fate old man, caused her to suffer! Think of that in your final moments!” Spat the assassin in the dying man’s face. Coughing and spluttering on his last breath of air, the man’s hand closed around the medallion. “Be safe my angel, I am sorry I let you down…” these were the man’s last thoughts before he let the darkness take him to a place from where he could never escape.